just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
