All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
