Can i not drive my cunt home
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
