hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
where are my pants?
in the oven.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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