and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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