I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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