Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
