hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
