writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
