i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Sorry my hands just texted you
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
