don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
