how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
