I wish i was in the wii world.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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