It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
