he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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