i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
