talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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