dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
