Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
