He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
