In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I am midnight drunk by noon
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I would fuck him just for his dog
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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