peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
