i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
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