I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
