I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
