Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
