he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
