ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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