Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
