yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
