Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
