I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
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