Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
