I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
it was like eating out sand paper
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
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