Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
