You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
