put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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