To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
No subtext here. People are naked.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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