Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
