Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
wow bdsm is so cute
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
