Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
