i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
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