okay pat passed out under dana's car
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Little spoons don't ask big questions
pop tarts are not kleenex
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
