you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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