get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize