some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
