the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
