every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
