The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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