The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
