think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
