the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
