Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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