Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
