You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
